I Need Help: An Open Letter To Moms Who Struggle To Do It All...

Friday, May 12, 2017




Recently I was knee deep, rather thigh deep in laundry.  A series of events including strep throat for mom, an over night accident, guests from out of town and life aided in the backup in the laundry department.  There it set in a huge pile on our bed one evening.  A huge weight on my shoulders and a huge pang of guilt that I couldn't get it all done.


Out of my mouth, I heard myself utter three words to my husband, almost painful to say -- I need help.  


__________________________

I need help -- 3 painful words to say
__________________________


He happily got to work helping and we were done folding laundry in about 20 minutes time.  He didn't think a thing of it or point his finger at me and say failure.  He was more than happy to pitch in, of course.


Why is it so hard for me to utter those three words -- I need help.


Somewhere along the way I got this notion, maybe you did too, that as stay at home mom, mother, woman, we should be able to do all the things, be all the things to everybody, everywhere.  We have high expectations and when our performance neither exceeds or even meets those expectations, we feel like we failed and have guilt.


_______________________________

As women we got the notion that we should be able to do all the things, be all the things to everybody, everywhere.
_______________________________


I feel like a failure when I admit I need help.  Since adding blogging to my daily plate, I have felt this tension more frequently.  You might say, "give up blogging" but that's not the root of the problem. The root is I want to be self-sufficient.  I want to do it all.

_______________________________

I want to be self-sufficient.  I want to do it all.  
_______________________________


Is it the worst thing to have my kids put their own clothes away, empty the dishwasher, put the pillows back on the couch they placed on the ground to play Ninja Warrior?  NO!  There are things on my daily to do list and yours,  we don't have to do.


________________________________

Family life is all hands on deck to keep this ship sailing and pointed in the right direction.
________________________________


Family life is a team sport.  It's not mom does everything while everyone else watches from the sidelines.  I can make it that way.   Its really all hands on deck to keep the ship sailing and pointed in the right direction.  It's calling people off the bench when you have fallen behind and you need support.  Teaching our kids responsibility and pitching in will serve them well in this life.


____________________________

Pride kept me from asking for help, humility brought me to a place of peace.
____________________________


What have I learned from uttering those three difficult words is I do need help.  I am not self-sufficient.  The bible even tells us of our need for God, we can't do it on our own.  Not our salvation, not this life.  We need God and we need others.  No one can do it all, even if it looks like they are on the outside.





I need help.  We all do.  We can't do it alone.  




Happy Mother's Day to all those women out there who love and care for so many others every single day!  May you know how much you do DO and how much you are loved today and everyday.  Keep on, keeping on #tribekoko.

 xoxo ERIN



Linking up with Momfessionals for Friday Favorites 

Salt & Light Link-up with Flourishing Today , Married by His Grace, Shannon, Milk and Honey Faith

9 comments on "I Need Help: An Open Letter To Moms Who Struggle To Do It All..."
  1. We all defintiely need help! Sometimes it's hard to ask, but it's so important! KOKO! Happy Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Life is definitely overwhelming some days and it's not uncommon for me to grumble and say, "I can't do it all." It's good for us to ask for help, and it's good for others to see us ask. Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy your weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So true! It is really hard to ask for help, but you are so NOT a failure for needing it. It takes a strong person to recognize when she needs help. Happy Mother's Day!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have this problem as well. I HATE asking for help. I've been independent since I was tiny. Now that we have little ones, though, I have gotten much better about it becasue I pretty much have no other choice. Happy Mother's Day to you, Erin!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post is wonderful and so true. I've always been the type of person who doesn't like to ask for help because I would rather things get done my way ... towels folded the way I like, kitchen cleaned the way I do, etc. I've had to learn that things will never get done exactly how I do them but I can't do all the things. Millie Jo LOVES helping me fold laundry & at first I got anxiety opening the linen closet BUT I have learned to appreciate the help and thought! My hubby will say often, "babe, I can't read your mind. You have to ask me for help." :) He never complains one time. Happy Friday, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Amazing encouragement as usual! "Pride kept me from asking. Humility brought me peace." Such good words!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Even the most 'together' moms need help. I'm thankful for my tribe that helps to keep the Hensleys functioning, and then I'm most thankful for that tribe that helps put it back together when it inevitably falls apart. This was such a good post. Thanks for sharing, sweet friend.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm not a mom yet, but I am going to remember this for when I do! I hope you had a very happy mother's day!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes!! I have such a hard time asking for help too, I really need to get better at it!

    ReplyDelete

Auto Post Signature

Auto Post  Signature