Saturday, June 27, 2015

The Belly Project: Week 39...

 Week 39

Baby Size:  Size of a a watermelon and over 7 lbs.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 23 lbs (now my post baby goal wait is to get down 30 lbs while nursing, I had gained a little weight in the stress of waiting for this one).
Gender: we will find out TOMORROW :)
Movement: been particularly active the last 48 hours.  I am not sure if they are uncomfortable, just having one final hurrah or what but man they have been doing all sorts of things in there.  We can fill limbs and see things move across my tummy.  I will miss guessing what they are doing and that feeling of life in your tummy, as crazy and weird as it seems, what a gift God has given us to feel our baby grow and develop.
Fetal Heartbeat:  145-155 (but on the monitor yesterday while being super crazy it was mostly in the 170's)
Sleep: Struggling to sleep...up in the night to use the restroom or just randomly wake up and stay awake for no known reason...at least I will have a reason after today!
Cravings: I have had a lot of nausea again at the end, they say that happens when birth is imminent.  Who knows?  I still need pop to help in the morning, mini muffins, watermelon, sandwiches with lettuce (has to have lettuce), and veggies.  
Symptoms: waddling, looking like who knows what getting out of bed, sometimes needing a hand to get out of a chair, having to focus to potty as baby seems to pinch off my bladder, emotions (oh my word, my emotions....they are definitely not helpful!).  We are at a solid 3, maybe 4 and almost fully effaced so baby is getting ready to come but induction takes place tomorrow.  I can't believe we got through all 500+ shots, I still have to take one a day for 6 weeks postpartum but the 2/day is now over!  As all moms can attest, you would do anything for your baby and their well-being, that was what I had to do and in order to have these precious babes I would do it all over again (for them, we are done!).
Exercise: we have been trying to walk this baby out every single day.
On My Heart:  Without getting too emotional, I have been really reflecting over this journey God has had us on since October 2013.  All previous times we got pregnant pretty easily and it took us a couple months to get pregnant before our miscarriage and then we had to wait.  In that waiting, I never questioned WHO God was but there were days I questioned why he had us waiting, why he placed an ache in my soul he wasn't fulfilling, why others had it easier then me, and the list goes on and on.  I came away with a big learning moment that I need to love and desire God above any of my earthly desires.  HE wants all of my heart and all of my trust.  I didn't trust Him fully and still struggle today but He and I grew closer in the last 2 years and I am not the person I was 2 years ago, I am being refined in the sweetest and most delicate of ways by our heavenly father.  I now know all I need to whisper is "Jesus" and He is there.  He is louder than the enemy's whispers.  He is faithful (To be clear I got to the point where I understood He was faithful even if another baby never came).  
I always said I wanted 3-4 kids.  The thing I love most about this fact is that God gave me both, exactly what I said I wanted.  3 kids on this Earth and 4 for eternity (Well I pray all of my children will ask Jesus into their hearts).  1 is already there waiting for us.  Thank you Lord for knowing our heart and loving us so well!
Scott and I keep chatting about how our family is about to change, this has been the largest gap in our family's life with no major life change.  We waited 3 years to have Solon, 2 more years to have Vera and now its been 4 years.  I wouldn't have chosen this time frame myself but the beauty in all of this is I ABSOLUTELY love that my children are older.  As we were snuggling with Solon this morning, he is just as excited as us.  Rushing in yesterday to tell me, "Mom we have just 2 days until baby, I am so excited, I can't wait."  He placed a sweet photo of our family in the nursery...you bet I teared up.  There is just so much love, anticipation and God's sovereign planning written all over this time.  It makes me realize, that His plans are above mine and His ways are better than mine!  I hope I remember that for a long time, the planner in me ;)!
And just to keep it real this week has been a roller coaster, I had a ROUGH mommy day on Wednesday complete with yelling at both of my kids who burst into tears...and repenting and asking for their forgiveness on my part.  In addition, Vera painted her nails and spilled an entire bottle of purple nail polish on the floor.  She also colored the wall with crayons, and chose to color her body with markers in addition to being super disobedient.  Good thing she is so cute but dang she is a hard nut to crack for discipline.  
All in all, we are ready to close the chapter on this pregnancy journey filled with IV's, days of laying in bed, shots, doctors visits, and the list goes on and on. God was faithful to fill the space with lots of fun memories, encouraging friends and family, many prayers and we just can't wait to write the next chapter in our family's history tomorrow beginning at 7am!
Solon's sweet art - our first family portrait

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