Wednesday, January 21, 2015

You say this is your last baby?

Ever since Scott and I began discussing serious topics early on in our dating career, we both always said 3 kids.  Once I had Solon I thought it was so amazing I could have 4 but then they start to grow up and demand more from you...and the thought of 4 seemed nice but not reality for us.

There are 3 main reasons we believe this is our last baby...

Physical -- For those of you that don't know, I have a genetic blood disorder called Factor 5/MTHFR  kindly referred to in the OB world as "mother F-er" (seriously, I about died the first time they referred to it that way).  It requires twice daily injections of a blood thinner known as lovenox that helps prevent a blood clot traveling to the placenta and causing miscarriage and still birth.  Being on lovenox is no joking matter and if I were to go into pre-term labor or be in some sort of accident it could be very serious for me and baby.  I have a great team of doctors that take great care of me but there is always risk.  With the lovenox, my labors are anything but natural.  I must be induced to make sure the blood thinner has warn off and then immediately return to twice daily injections until 12 weeks postpartum.  This condition does not cause immediate concern for me besides when I am pregnant as long as I stay young and active.

Along with those physical concerns, I also have very laborious early pregnancies as evidenced by this round of IV's.  The complications of the blood disorder mean I can not do a permanent PICC line because you are at a higher risk of clotting.  This means that they can only do temporary IV lines and after just the first trimester my veins were blowing out regularly -- yikes, I will spare you the details.

I know some would say it is momentary pain for a lifetime of a child but I know my body's limits and  quite honestly I am not sure our insurance company will want to pay for another VERY expensive pregnancy (talking upwards of $50,000-75,000 dollars - we do not pay anything close to that thankfully).

Financial -- People might disagree with us on this one but we have many hopes and dreams for our children, including college as well as life experiences we want to share with them.  Both Scott and I were blessed to come out of college with no debt.  This enabled me to stay home more easily, etc.  At some point the plan is for me to go back to work but for now I will stay home until all of our kids are in elementary school.

And the last reason is we know our limit...everyone's threshold is different but Scott is 100% sure with 3 we will hit it.  I am also in agreement.  We haven't even had 3 yet but I know it will rock our world.  We will be outnumbered and move to zone defense very soon.  For those of you who think we have left God out of the equation, we haven't.  If God wants us to have more, I am sure he will make it very obvious and He can do that but as far as Scott and I feel led, we are very happy with 3.  We just know it is best for our family to be thankful for the 3 precious gifts God has gifted us.

I knew when I had Vera, there were more children to come, our family wasn't complete.  We have peace this time around that this is it.  When I miscarried, I distinctly remember one evening crying out to God and him telling me I would conceive again, I am thankful for His provision.  However difficult this pregnancy has been, I am thankful for it.  I know the hard days will pay off to a sweet baby to hold in a few short months.  We are soaking up the sweet moments and "lasts" of this stage.  It was bittersweet but surprisingly peaceful to come to the conclusion.  It is nice to appreciate the finality of it all.


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