Running the race...

I was out for another jog.  A beautiful afternoon with a slight breeze and HOT sun.  I had been running for a solid 20 minutes and I was becoming weary.  I remember as I ran by the quiet pond, I needed help.  I was not going to finish in my strength alone.  The sun was beating down on me and I could feel the sweat dripping down my back.  All I wanted to do was stop and lay in the grass.  It was too hard to continue.   It was too hard and I was not capable.

I cried out to God - help me - I cannot do this.  But I don't want to give up like I always do when things get tough, that's my nature - run (well in this case not run), quit.

And in that moment, God met me and we finished together.  It was hard but the victory was sweet.  We had done it together.

I don't like tough days.

I don't like pain.

I don't like to wait.

I want it easy.  I want my life to be easy. happy. joy-filled and that means in my feeble mind, life should go my way.

But what happens when the run gets hard and you feel like throwing your hands up in the air and saying I am done?

Cry out to God.  His help is above all else.

He is faithful always.

I have days (namely at the end of the month ;) that I spend time in a pool of self-pity mixed with guilt for being in that pool because my pain pails in comparison to those around the world.  But that guilt isn't from God, comparisons are the death of us, from the enemy. And we  have bad days - hope I can get an amen?!  I have bad days.

Our pain, our struggle, our story -- God knows it and he knows our heart.

After 6 months on this road with God of waiting for another child, I have moments of weakness.  I have moments of "are we there yet?"  I surely can't do this anymore.  I want to give up trying.

And just like that, like on my run, God uses people, verses and most importantly himself to wrap his arms around me and remind me He is faithful.

He's got this and he's got me.

And we can continue on...running the race marked out for us.

Our pain is all different, our circumstances, our stories but God knows it all and He is willing and ready - His hand is extended out....have you grabbed hold?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1