We were playing some sort of boxed game, the one where you say something that could be true or false about you and they have to guess who is telling the truth and who is lying. Maybe you know the game.
My statement was - I have always wanted to write a book.
That is true.
It has been a dream of mine since early on in my walk with Jesus.
But fear has prevented me from pursuing my dream. Isn't that what holds us all back? Fear.
Fear that I am not wise enough, Christian enough, capable of finishing or have enough words, that it won't be helpful, make sense, you name it, I have thought it. At the end of the day, fear held me back.
I have time to read again (say what?) so I picked up the book "The Best Yes" by Lisa Terkuerst. It was written for me. The premise is evaluating your obligations and demands to determine what God has really called you to. It talks about when you say "yes" to one thing, you might be missing out on what God has really called you to. There are many great opportunities but they are not all designed for you. I am sure someone out there can relate, yep me, that's me.
As I read the first chapter, I was reminded what God is calling me to do....that thing I have been running from, like Jonah ran from Ninevah.
Write a book.
Ok God but I am not an expert in ANYTHING. NOTHING. NADA.
I am an ordinary girl stumbling through life, through motherhood.
As I talk with friends, neighbors, acquaintances, the lady pulling her hair out at Target (oh that's me, yep I talk to myself). We all seem to be muddling through motherhood with a smile on our face and on the inside hoping desperately no one sees our failures.
I fail A LOT. I need God's grace A LOT.
I want to write a book that when a mom sits down with it for the 5 free minutes she has (those precious moments on the toilet, nap-time or when you finally fall into bed at the end of the day), that they would be encouraged, that they would feel valued, that they know they are important and their job matters and most important that they are not alone.
I started running this spring and I am knee-deep in training. I am so close to 3.1 miles, I can taste it but I haven't yet reached my goal and I desperately want to give up but then I remember how far I have come. But I had to start in order to succeed.
It's time to get to typing...
So here's a question for you --
What topics are on your heart? What things do you struggle with?