The pacifier...

Oh how I love the pacifier.  How can something so small divide moms - you are either pro or con....Well you all know I am all for it!  Some may say it causes nipple confusion (yes dad I just said that :) BUT my kiddos nursed just fine and I tell you what, the pacifier was such a blessing for my lactose intolerant babies...they needed soothing at times.  SO when they turn about 21 months we start to have the conversation of saying good-bye to the pacifier.  Why? Well around this age, our kiddos seem to really start communicating and that dang pacifier just gets in their way and they get VERY attached when they really don't need to be.  I have tried the whole "only in your bed" idea BUT I (yes me) have a problem sticking to that...I mean they throw a fit in the car or restaurant and they quiet right down when I stick it in their mouth. SO I need to just rip the band-aid off, so to speak, for myself as much as the kiddo.

So we decided to wait til after vacation, no sense in toally freaking Vera out while we are away from home but I promised Scott we would do it as soon as we got back to familiar territory.  SO this last weekend was that time....cue the sweating and nervous dry heaving on my part.  I HATE listening to my babies cry out.  It just breaks my heart into a million pieces but I know that they have to cry it out a bit to learn how to soothe themselves.

So I cut the tips off of her pacifiers and she tried to stick them in and out they would fall.  She was a little confused but it worked as far as not wanting it during the day.  However her first naptime without it was a different story, she screamed and balled for about 20 minutes.  My heart felt yanked out of my chest but Scott kept reassuring me, we were doing the right thing.  Bedtime was worse, she was really tired from crying at naptime and she didn't want me to rock her like normal (extra sad face) so she cried it out in her bed.  She also woke up in the night and fussed (normally we go in and plug her back in - yes 21 months without sleeping through most days - she is a very light sleeper which equals 2 tired parents).

Day 2 we went to a bike trail and walked, she screamed the last 20 minutes back to the car as all the bikers stared me down like I was an awful parent.  Do you ever just want to wear a t-shirt that says "she is almost 2 and throwing a fit - it is totally normal".  Seriously people, I am not a horrible person!  She was tired and wanted to be soothed by her pacifier!  By the time we got to the car she was so worn out she fell asleep and transferred to her bed.  Last night was the same, more crying.  I was beginning to think this was going to take FOREVER.  Meanwhile I kept praying I would remain strong (note I did it on a weekend while Scott was home because I KNEW I would give in on my own - ha!).

On to today, Day 3...we read 2 stories and prayed before nap, I laid her down and she fussed about 2 minutes and I have not heard a peep.  Cue the HOORAY!  Here is to hoping we are on the down hill slide....

My advice to myself, and anyone else who cares, is to remain consistent and don't give up! Just know this lady wanted to SO bad because I hate seeing my babies sad but I knew (more like Scott kept telling me) she would not only survive but be better off because of it.  She communicates so much more without it now and she didn't even get up in the night.  She did however start yelling our names at 6:22AM #nopacificer.

So I guess it is so long to the pacifier, another sign my baby is not a baby anymore but instead a sweet, vivacious little girl. **She is still in her crib though (no need to tackle that for now)!