By my self-imposed, type A, borderline crazy standards? YES. By God's standards? NO.
It is fitting that this my 1000th post (yep 1000 baby), because I am the kind of person that if I am going to do something, I am going to do it with my very best 110% effort or I won't do it all. It is a little thing called #Afraidtofail. When I started staying home, I had this "list" of expectations in my head. I was going to be
Jean June Jane Cleaver (you know the one with pearls and a sweet kiss and smile for her hubby after work, nicely dressed and 2 well behaved children). Lately God has really been showing me that "my" expectations are just that "mine". It doesn't say in the bible to be a "good" mom you have to watch less than .5 hours of television, serve cereal with sugar in the 5th ingredient or less, make homemade granola bars, shower everyday and apply make-up, wear fresh underwear, rise before the sun with a smile and play with your kids and love them every second of the day or fill in the expectation blank. Those would be my expectation (unrealistic, huh....but I know I am not alone!).
I didn't want to fail.
I didn't want to let everyone down, most importantly my kids, my hubby and God.
What I "failed" to realize is that by choking my mind with "expectations" I was missing out on just going with it. Going with it? What the heck is that? That is not in my vocabulary.
I don't have to every minute of our day nicely organized and arranged. I don't have to play every minute of the day with my kiddos. They can scream and be mad at me and my hubby may go to work without a lunch and coffee because today I rose after the sun and my feet barely made it to the floor before whining ensued. #RealLife
We are our own worst enemy.
I may not be your kid's super mom but God ordained me to be my kid's super mom....that means when He made me and my children, He knew we would make a perfect match. Like the stuffing to the cookie in a double-stuffed oreo. PERFECTION!
I MUST stop looking around the room at what every other mom is doing that I am not. God never intended motherhood to be a solo competition...I believe it was meant to be a team sport like say, I don't know, rugby? It is dirty, filthy, painful, exhilerating, and at the end of the day we should chest pump the mom next to us that we survived another day.
So this is a challenge on my 1000th post - I am chucking my expectations out the window. I am chanting....
I am not a failure
You are not a failure
We are not a failure
We are moms - ROAR!
Whether you work outside the home in addition to your work in the home, whether you are a homebody or a go-out kind of body....motherhood, wifehood, daughter of Christhood is a journey...may our hearts be ever humble and may God's grace fill in our ever-cellulited gaps. Society, pinterest, facebook and Satan aim to knock us to our knees and say "I don't do that...." but God never provokes, frightens, belittles, tears down. He says "good job my faithful servant, good job." And although I may fall short from time to time, that doesn't make me a failure because as someone wise once told me, "get up, walk it off and try again." There is no failure in trying again.
I am imperfectly perfect and made in His image. And nothing God does is EVER a failure.