A little therapy post...

I am sure everyone blogs for a variety of reasons and most of the time is to show off my adorable cantgetenoughofyou children to far away family and friends.  But I have found as I grow older (and wiser ;) that I also enjoy writing to get my feelings out on to paper and process.  I think it is fun to really understand yourself and how you operate.  For instance I am a thinker, processer aka stewer and dweller.  Things lay on my heart and I can't get them off of my heart unless I can take them from the in process folder to finished...I can just see those files on my make believe desk and the feeling of satisfaction of moving things from one spot to the other.  Unfortunately in life, sometimes things are harder to get from "in process" to finished. Say our kitchen painting project....took forever to get from one file to the other.  Another reflection, the older I get the more I realize I do not deal well with chaos.  I am orderly, type A, anal, you can think of a hundred other adjectives but there was a reason I had perfect bangs in the 90's...just saying!

So when Scott and I started discussing the very thought of the possibility of just maybe we might kind of think (you get the idea - big word - tentative) about moving to another home (within Ankeny although Australia was discussed), moving was thrown into my in process file folder.  Now as a mom you have a million other in process file folder items that I desperately try to get into the finished pile every single day...say laundry, dishes, cleanly children, chores, blogging, errands, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. So when we add in the whopping "moving" into that category - although emotions likes excitement and wonder are in there - I also have thoughts of words that can't be named and stomach moths the size of dinosaurs too....

So where to start in getting this idea to the finished file folder because as I told my friend Mandey today we just need to figure it out like yesterday.  So how?

Numero uno, we have been praying, talking, praying ,listening with a careful ear to advice given (because you all know when you have major decisions everyone and your mother's uncle has an opinion).  Then we hooked up with a realtor and got a market analysis on our house and just to be extra sure we got a 2nd opinion.  Always good to make sure someone is just not blowing smoke in your direction.  Good thing for us is we got 2 glowing recommendations and both were within $1000 of each other.

Next up we looked at our financials - we looked at our monthly budget and what we could afford while still meeting our other obligations.  No sense in being house poor... This is the stage we are in now....we are calling banks, getting rate quotes, loan types, etc. etc. but in the midst of all of this Scott and I are continuing to pray and just today Scott told me he thinks we need a financial planner (um yes I totally agree and withough using those words was thinking along the same lines).  I love when God brings us together on things.

So now here we sit with this HUGE (READ HUGE) decision out there...and we just don't know.  It is different than any move I encountered and you all know I have moved my fair share.  Different because it is my money (and I like to spend it but by mom would tell you I was always very careful first to think and process before letting go).  Another reason it is different is we are putting maybe a little too much weight that it should be perfect since we will be there for a long time.  I feel as though no matter what house we choose will fall short with those expectations....but alas we have them.

But where we stand this afternoon I feel at peace more than I have felt in the entire process....why, probably because i just divulged all of the inner workings of my crazy head to who ever reads this and more so because God has brought Scott and I together on this topic, we have asked Him (who has given it all to us) to lead our decision and God has also blessed us with some great friends and family who we are asking to give us advice.

So I don't think this huge in process item is going anywhere soon, maybe that is the point.  All things don't have to be done on my timing, God's timing is perfect.  His timing will allow Scott and I to get comfy and come together on everything and in the process I am sure he will teach me a little chaos is okay, life is not perfectly tidied up in cute little baskets and file folders sometimes a little chaos is okay.

So where does that leave us - heading to a financial planner.  We will ultimately make the decision but for now a little more unbiased, unrelated advice from a stranger who doesn't know us is what we hope to seek.  We shall see....I am sure to keep you posted.  In the meantime, your prayers that I can learn to live in the unknown and we make a wise decision would be appreciated.  Oh yeah and that I can enjoy house hunting because those that know me know I get so giddy thinking about snooping around other people's houses.

Oh yeah and that is why I have not been blogging, I have been cleaning, decluttering, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning to make our home be all that I know she can be.  (IF you know anyone wanting an adorable home, you know where to find one ;).