Friday, November 16, 2012

Cutting the purse strings...

Note: I know 2 (yes 2) soap-box style posts this week...I promise to store it away for a few days and return to blogs about my kids but I have just so much on my heart lately, I am pouring it out on to you...read if you dare!

Before you have children, you listen to oodles upon oodles of stories about how parenting goes and you formulate just how you will parent (it is packaged in a neat nicely organized little box in your mind).  I will never do x, y or z and I sure won't do this and by golly why would you ever dream of doing that....sound familiar?

Then you get pregnant and you quiz everyone you want advice from and then you get a whole lot of advice you didn't request, you read some books, online articles, get the daily inbox note on what you should be doing and you try to juggle it all to be the perfectly conformed parent in society - right? Okay maybe it is just me....

Baby arrives and you realize just how little you knew and how much you have to learn - that is called humility folks and every day you learn to be more humble and judge just a little less the other parents that are just like you - doing the best they can do with what they read and were told.

Okay so then for me, baby #2 rolled along and well I started to realize that life wasn't about pleasing every advice giver and society as a whole.  Why was I conforming to what I should or shouldn't do.  I mean who said 12 months was satisfactory to wean a child from nursing and why couldn't I use coconut oil to ease exzema instead gobs of steroids (remember I am not bashing people that do any of these things).  What I am saying is, I tuned out my own mom-tuition to hear everyone elses' and what I failed to realize is God instilled that mom-tuition in me for my children.  Weaning Vera at 12 months wasn't gonna work for me and by golly that is OKAY - did you hear me it is okay.  I am not some wacky  prairie woman getting in touch with my natural side - no Vera was not ready to be done.  She naturally weaned at 14 months with no tears, no pain on my part - one day we were just finished - voila - the end....

It got me thinking that we give a whole lot of advice to other moms about what is "right" or what she "should" do and we judge people for giving a pacifier, nursing, bottle feeding, co-sleeping, rocking their kiddo to sleep, having a schedule, not having a schedule, having bumpers in the bed, using disposable diapers, etc. etc. etc. 

My best advice (yikes I am giving you advice) is to tune out everyone else but YOU...I (yep me Erin!) was ordained by God to be the mother to Solon and Vera.  He knew we would be a perfect match and whatever I did, I would do to the best of my ability for MY kiddos. 

So now when I think about what I should do - I don't hear the little birdies saying this is the social norm - I look to them as guides and then think about what is best for my family.  Nursing just happened to be the straw that broke the camel's back for me but you could probably list off numerous hot button topics that we get sucked into (potty training anyone? :/ okay we won't go there)

Cut the purse strings....free yourself from what society thinks is right and do what is best for your family.  Knowing your kiddos better than anyone else and knowing EVERY kid is different.  Parent with your knees and ask for God's wisdom and grace!  You can't go wrong and who cares if they look at you and say "YOUR STILL NURSING?" (because that never happened to me or it happened about 1000 times) Come up with some smart ---- response (or refer them to this post)...

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